Refrain yourself from saying these.

If there’s one thing that we’re all susceptible from, is that we tend to be affected by negative thoughts and actions than positive. A psychologist, Rick Hanson, Ph.D., and best-selling author of Hardwiring Happiness, said that negative comments from others are more likely to stay with us than positive feedbacks. From this, building positive interactions with one another is necessary to have a healthy and happy relationship.

In another study, clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon, Ph.D., said that we need to be proactive about building a thick cushion of warmth and support so that we can weather the inevitable rough moments when they happen.

Here are the things you should never say to your partner to stay in a positive light despite the inevitable rough moments of a relationship.

“If you loved me, you would. . .”

“Why isn’t it like it used to be between us?”

“You’re acting just like your mother!” (or your father, or any other family member).

These simple words might trigger that words aren’t enough, that you were looking for actions from your significant other, that you wish things would be back to how they used to be, or probably provoke defensiveness in your partner.

“Love is hard work and bumps in the road are 100% inevitable.” according to a clinical psychologist. And also, “The challenge is to figure out how to work together against the rough patch instead of against each other.”

If there are days when you thought that you’ve said too much and not enough all at once, just stop for a moment, before saying other words that could hurt your partner. You have to let go of ‘winning’. Neither of you should win a fight if so, you’ve probably doing it wrong. By letting the both of you win, the relationship win.

No Comments Published: March 8th, 2017

Living a single life is actually good to you. Aside from living the life the way you wanted it to be; it also allows you to devote your time on self-discovery. Perhaps, you should’ve started to figure out  what you really want in a relationship, and, what doesn’t work anymore to you.

It turns out, living the single life is not only good to satisfy your “secret single behaviour,” but, it also have good psychological benefits. University of California social psychologist Bella DePaulo, who is also the author of Single Out, conducted variety of studies on single and married couple. As a scope in Business Insider, she listed these:

1. Singles are more likely to be self-reliant.


 

Compared to those in a relationship, singles are more likely to be self-reliant and self-motivated. No need to find a cheerleader. The singles tend to do and accomplished things on their own. DePaulo said that, being self-sufficient triggers happier emotions. Similarly, married couple were less likely to experience negative emotions if they are self-reliant.

2. Singles set more goals for themselves.

The singles are able to set more goals for themselves compared to married couples. They can also have more time for personal development and growth as they tend to devote more of their time on self-discovery.

3. Singles tend to have better relationships with their family, friends, and co-workers.

Singles build a deeper connection with people around them. According to DePaulo, “when people marry, they become more insular.”

Living the single life is always a choice. Being on your own, at this moment, is not necessarily bad. So to those singles out there, keep doing you. But, to give you some takeaway idea, DePaulo said, “more than ever, Americans can pursue the ways of living that work best for them. There is no blueprint for the good life.”

No Comments Published: March 8th, 2017
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