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No one should be trapped in a relationship where there’s cheating going on. And while a careless cheater is easy to catch, there are some who seem to have mastered the art of stealthily juggling two (or even more!) people in his/her hands. If your intuition keeps bugging you that something about your partner is off, listen carefully and sharpen your senses.

Here are some cheater-catching things you can do:

1. Observe closely if there are some changes, no matter how subtle, in his ways toward you.

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He/she doesn’t make much eye contact anymore like before? Something different with his/her tone when saying ‘I love you’? Though these are not conclusive, they could be telling of something. Stay observant.

2. Ask direct, nonchalant questions and notice his/her reaction.

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Did he/she pause for a sec when asked directly about who called him/her yesterday in the middle of the night? Did he/she suddenly bring up a new topic too soon after you just talked about a dinner party he/she attended? While cheaters can try and somehow succeed at sounding ‘normal’, some things can still slip and give you some hints.

3. Express your interest to mingle with his/her circle and observe how he/she feels about the idea.

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It is likely that someone, a confidante or two among his/her circle knows about the cheating you suspect. And if this person is trustworthy but talks a lot when drunk, your partner will not like the idea of you hanging out with them with his/her secret being spilled along with some beer.

4. Take mental note of inconsistencies with his/her words. Especially when coupled with a defensive tone.

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‘We headed to the bar at around 8 after office’. After 2 days, his/her statement becomes ‘I had to work overtime the other day so I went home very late.’ Though this could be a simple case of forgetting the details, if inconsistencies like this become too often, you have to see it as a red flag. Remember, a lie will be covered up by another lie and so on until things don’t add up anymore.

5. He/she suddenly turns too romantic and sweet? Find out why.

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A sudden, out-of-the-ordinary sweet gesture like sending you gifts or having a vacation trip with you is always welcome. But beware as this could just be a way to ease his/her conscience for a fling episode that happened earlier. What happens before and after a sudden sweet gesture is important because the key, again, is consistency. While inconsistency does not always mean he/she could be cheating, it could give away some clues and help you find out the truth.

So you found out that there’s some cheating going on? Address the issue as adults and make it clear that you don’t and can’t tolerate such. You want to go the forgive-and-forget route because you want to save what’s left of your relationship? Go ahead. You want him or her out of your life because trust is something you put a premium on? It’s your call. Just don’t allow yourself to be a victim in a relationship that keeps you in the dark. A loyal partner doesn’t deserve that. Period.

Comments? Share it with us! We’d be happy to hear from you. While you’re at it, have fun! 

No Comments Published: May 28th, 2016

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So that guy you’ve been crushing on doesn’t even budge when you pass by him. You’ve tried all the tricks you know and nothing seems to work. Before you feel downbeat and unattractive, know that these rare male species can really be oblivious no matter how gorgeous the girls around them are.

Although it’s the men who are expected to pursue women and not the other way around, women can work their charm too without looking desperate for attention.

How? Check out these tips:

1.Look pleasing to the eye.

Men are visual. No matter how ‘unaware’ a guy seems to be about your presence, if he throws a glance your way and likes what he sees, his mind will react positively to that stimulus. It all starts in the mind – from thinking, to feeling, to acting. Be patient.

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Must-do’s:

    • Know your assets and show them off. Got lovely locks? Let it down, flip it gracefully. Gorgeous eyes? Make eye contacts (casual not creepy please).
    • Dress up to show your beauty and personality.
    • Look neat and fresh. Greasy skin and hair will get his attention for the wrong reasons.
    • Smile a lot.

2. Sound pleasing to the ear.

So you look attractive, but that is not enough to make an oblivious (and usually picky) guy to like you enough to make a move. You have to speak with sense, with a nice tone, and just the right balance of wit, humor, confidence, and sweetness.

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Must-do’s:

    • Avoid being loud and tactless.
    • Laugh sincerely, be fun to talk to.
    • If you see a chance to talk to him, strike up a chat.

3. Have a pleasing character.

After initially being noticed for your looks and smarts, sustaining a man’s attention has largely to do with your character. A kind heart can melt even the coldest guy in town. No matter how pretty or witty you are, bitchy ways turn people off. So be kind.

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Must-do’s:

    • Be a positive presence and influence.
    • Be nice and polite without allowing others to bully you as most guys like women who know their value.
    • Live with passion that goes beyond shopping and makeup. Men are generally attracted to women of substance. So instead of calling him every hour to get him to like you, mind your career, enjoy your hobbies and sports, be active in your various advocacies. He  will see you as a woman worthy of his attention and even more.

It takes looks, personality, chemistry, right timing, and circumstances for someone to notice and like you. But with the right steps, you can get the attention you deserve and perhaps find yourself a good match!

Comments? Share it with us! We’d be happy to hear from you. While you’re at it, have fun! 

No Comments Published: May 25th, 2016
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